What am I doing in this world full of nonsense and lies?

I know it's kinda late to say this.. But anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Somehow I felt really different this new year. During the count down, I really feel like I'm leaving the old part of me, all the past emotions, all the past mistakes. And this new year is the only year I have ever felt like a BRAND NEW ME! It's kind of nice, knowing that I'm no longer weighed down by everything in the past. It really feels so good. Good bye old crushes! LoL!

"He came back as easily he went away. All the feelings locked away in a box, put away far down in my heart. Kept the key so nobody can touch it. Easily he took the key from me and opened the box. All the feelings I had before came rushing back."

MeR stepped on your garbage

Hey people! I'm back home in Indonesia! Wheeee!! Well, that's the only thing I'm happy about. Today (8/11 or 9/11 i don't know) is so not my day. Firstly, my baggage are overweight and I have to pay a freaking AU$300! Dang! I can get one Betina Liano jeans man... It broke my heart. Sigh.... Lesson learnt. And then on the plane, there is this freaking irritating cheena guy (no offense) who talk so much. To show him that I'm so not interested into getting a conversation with him. I rudely kept on reading my magazine while answering his question with either a nod or a "hm". Well, he gets it and he kept quiet. But then, that's not the end of my agony. He has this really bad breath and I mean REAALLLLYYY BAAAADD! The worse thing is that he slept with his mouth open and I, sitting beside him, have to bear with that stench. Ew, yucks! I think it's his first time taking an aeroplane or something. First, he can't on the tv and then he doesn't know how to push back the seat. I think the air stewardess is kinda irritated by him cause he kept asking for drinks. Oh wells, 7 hours but 4 hours I was sleeping, so it was not so bad. Okie then, I shall enjoy myself here and update once in a while. Going to take a nap now. Ciao~

MeR stepped on your garbage

Sometimes it surprise you to know many people care... Sometimes you thought that everyone has their back turned on you. When in truth, you're just paranoid.. They care... And now I know..
Thank you Iksky, Cherie, Jen, Chandra and Nie.. I love you guys so much!
I don't really enjoy this single thing at the moment. Hahaha.. Cause everywhere I see, couples! Love! But yes, I can just be patient and wait for someone to come along.
Pardon me for the previous emo post.. PMS. Blame it all on that.. Update later! Ciao people!

MeR stepped on your garbage

I feel so unwanted, so alone, so unloved.....

It seems like everyone around me has someone they love, they care about and they have someone who love them back, who care for them. Who do I have? No one.. All I have is me, myself and I.......

[I long for your presence, your touch, your lips and your LOVE...]
[Where art thou?]

MeR stepped on your garbage

BACK PEOPLE! Apology for the long absence. No excuses. =)

I'm currently torn between 2. I don't know which one to choose. I don't knooooww!! I hate all these choices that we have to make in life you know. Why can't there be ONE choice? Well, because life will be BORING!! Oh Gosh... I need serious help.

There are just some things that I've learnt throughout my life so far. One thing is that you have to expect the unexpected. You don't expect someone to do something to you but he/she did. And through experiences, I've learnt to keep things to myself. One tip: if you fear that anything you say may leak out, then zip it buddy! So yeah, I'm in a dilemma but I can't tell anybody about it because of this fear. And no, I'm not going ot risk any friendships just for my own happiness.

Have you ever thought about the people in the world as backstabbers? It just struck me that everyone in the world is backstabber! Maybe that's generalization but I can assure you that at least 95% of the world population are. Be honest, how many of you have really never ever talk about any of your friend? Gossiping=backstabbing. I'm guilty of that. Well, as long as it doesn't get to their ears. Haha!

I've been wondering, how many people actually achieve their dreams? I want to be one of the few or many I don't know. But I want to be one of them. Is it possible? Most people will say "Yes if you try hard enough" Oh come on.. Who you're trying to kid! Trying hard is not enough! Luck, fate play their parts too! Dang! So many things on my mind to write down but I just can't seem to put them in words. Well, I guess I shall stop now.

Anyways, exams are starting soon which means Trinity is ending!! OMG! It seems just like yesterday that I started Trinity. Being dumb and all.. Not knowing anybody, well except Ninie. Cliche stuffs to say at the end of something right. That's just how life is. On the bright side, it means that I'm going back soon!! And this is not and ending, but it is the beginning of something new. Something called "University". Sigh..... Why can't life freeze for a moment and let the people to take break and breath in some air. People are so busy with their lives, they don't even take the time to appreciate nature anymore!

Life is full of cliches!

MeR stepped on your garbage

[LOVE OUR FRIENDSHIP GIRL, AND STAY AWAY FROM *...]

No, I'm not talking about the obvious one, I'm talking about you girl.. Uh-uh. Thought you were my friend. I guess friends do bring you down sometime. I just see no reason for you to do that. Maybe you find it thrilling. WOOO!! Go and see a psychiatrist to fix your abnormality please...

Sigh... Am I holding on to something fruitless? Should I just let it go? Will I regret it? But if I hold on to it, will I be disappointed? It seems that you're giving all the "NOs"... Should I say "Ah, I get it, I'll let you go"? But NO! I won't be satisfied just like that. The question is not "Will you be mine?" The real question is "Is my feelings really true or is it just out of loneliness?"

Seriously, I don't know guys... I just don't know.........

MeR stepped on your garbage

You guys do know it when people talk about you right? As in, in your presence. You see them from afar and they were chit chatting. Once you get near them, they stop abruptly. How does that feel? For me, it's a very very loud "OUCH!!!" You feel so betrayed, like what's there that you cannot know. If they dare to speak about you in your presence, have you ever thought how much they discuss about you behind your back? That's another loud "OUCH!" If you've made a mistake, why don't they just tell you straight? Why do they have to discuss it, without you knowing? Why don't they ask you what the hell you were thinking when you're doing/saying that? WHY?!
I LOATHE YOU GUYS!!! I DO!! Please talk to me straight next time. That would be much appreciated. Period.

MeR stepped on your garbage

Rest In Peace to the world most loved crocodile hunter, Steve Irwin, who was killed by stingray's barb on the 4th September. He was only 44. His death is a great loss to the world. He was one brave man. He has cheated on death many times before and I guess that day was his day. To Steve Irwin: Thank you for your endless contribution to the world. Many tears shed and the world unite once again in feeling the loss of a great man. You are the inspiration of many animal lovers.

This sudden loss reminds me of how life is so unpredictable. God can take us away from this world as and when He likes it. We'll never know if we're going to die tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or whenever. Steve Irwin was only 44 and yet God feels that his time is up. He left behind 2 kids and a wife. Sometimes you may think, "Why God takes away good people in the world at such young age? Why is He so unfair?" I thought of these questions too, but I believe God has His reason. This taught me to live life to the fullest each and everyday, no matter how sad or screwed up your life is, there's nothing worse than death, than leaving this world with nothing accomplished. How easy is it for life to come and go? Irwin was filming a documentary and the next second *stab* he was dead. Do you realise how unpredictable was that? Never ever regret being born into this world. Never ever complain about all the bad things that life brings. It is already good enought that you are alive!

MeR stepped on your garbage