¯¨´·~-.¸¸,.-~´¨Waiting for my fairytale¯¨´*·~-.¸

A brand new year

2007-01-17T20:47:00.000-08:00

I know it's kinda late to say this.. But anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Somehow I felt really different this new year. During the count down, I really feel like I'm leaving the old part of me, all the past emotions, all the past mistakes. And this new year is the only year I have ever felt like a BRAND NEW ME! It's kind of nice, knowing that I'm no longer weighed down by everything in the past. It really feels so good. Good bye old crushes! LoL!

"He came back as easily he went away. All the feelings locked away in a box, put away far down in my heart. Kept the key so nobody can touch it. Easily he took the key from me and opened the box. All the feelings I had before came rushing back."

Back home!

2006-12-08T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hey people! I'm back home in Indonesia! Wheeee!! Well, that's the only thing I'm happy about. Today (8/11 or 9/11 i don't know) is so not my day. Firstly, my baggage are overweight and I have to pay a freaking AU$300! Dang! I can get one Betina Liano jeans man... It broke my heart. Sigh.... Lesson learnt. And then on the plane, there is this freaking irritating cheena guy (no offense) who talk so much. To show him that I'm so not interested into getting a conversation with him. I rudely kept on reading my magazine while answering his question with either a nod or a "hm". Well, he gets it and he kept quiet. But then, that's not the end of my agony. He has this really bad breath and I mean REAALLLLYYY BAAAADD! The worse thing is that he slept with his mouth open and I, sitting beside him, have to bear with that stench. Ew, yucks! I think it's his first time taking an aeroplane or something. First, he can't on the tv and then he doesn't know how to push back the seat. I think the air stewardess is kinda irritated by him cause he kept asking for drinks. Oh wells, 7 hours but 4 hours I was sleeping, so it was not so bad. Okie then, I shall enjoy myself here and update once in a while. Going to take a nap now. Ciao~

2006-11-13T17:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it surprise you to know many people care... Sometimes you thought that everyone has their back turned on you. When in truth, you're just paranoid.. They care... And now I know..
Thank you Iksky, Cherie, Jen, Chandra and Nie.. I love you guys so much!
I don't really enjoy this single thing at the moment. Hahaha.. Cause everywhere I see, couples! Love! But yes, I can just be patient and wait for someone to come along.
Pardon me for the previous emo post.. PMS. Blame it all on that.. Update later! Ciao people!

2006-11-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

I feel so unwanted, so alone, so unloved.....

It seems like everyone around me has someone they love, they care about and they have someone who love them back, who care for them. Who do I have? No one.. All I have is me, myself and I.......

[I long for your presence, your touch, your lips and your LOVE...]
[Where art thou?]

2006-11-09T04:54:00.000-08:00

BACK PEOPLE! Apology for the long absence. No excuses. =)

I'm currently torn between 2. I don't know which one to choose. I don't knooooww!! I hate all these choices that we have to make in life you know. Why can't there be ONE choice? Well, because life will be BORING!! Oh Gosh... I need serious help.

There are just some things that I've learnt throughout my life so far. One thing is that you have to expect the unexpected. You don't expect someone to do something to you but he/she did. And through experiences, I've learnt to keep things to myself. One tip: if you fear that anything you say may leak out, then zip it buddy! So yeah, I'm in a dilemma but I can't tell anybody about it because of this fear. And no, I'm not going ot risk any friendships just for my own happiness.

Have you ever thought about the people in the world as backstabbers? It just struck me that everyone in the world is backstabber! Maybe that's generalization but I can assure you that at least 95% of the world population are. Be honest, how many of you have really never ever talk about any of your friend? Gossiping=backstabbing. I'm guilty of that. Well, as long as it doesn't get to their ears. Haha!

I've been wondering, how many people actually achieve their dreams? I want to be one of the few or many I don't know. But I want to be one of them. Is it possible? Most people will say "Yes if you try hard enough" Oh come on.. Who you're trying to kid! Trying hard is not enough! Luck, fate play their parts too! Dang! So many things on my mind to write down but I just can't seem to put them in words. Well, I guess I shall stop now.

Anyways, exams are starting soon which means Trinity is ending!! OMG! It seems just like yesterday that I started Trinity. Being dumb and all.. Not knowing anybody, well except Ninie. Cliche stuffs to say at the end of something right. That's just how life is. On the bright side, it means that I'm going back soon!! And this is not and ending, but it is the beginning of something new. Something called "University". Sigh..... Why can't life freeze for a moment and let the people to take break and breath in some air. People are so busy with their lives, they don't even take the time to appreciate nature anymore!

Life is full of cliches!

2006-09-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

[LOVE OUR FRIENDSHIP GIRL, AND STAY AWAY FROM *...]

No, I'm not talking about the obvious one, I'm talking about you girl.. Uh-uh. Thought you were my friend. I guess friends do bring you down sometime. I just see no reason for you to do that. Maybe you find it thrilling. WOOO!! Go and see a psychiatrist to fix your abnormality please...

Sigh... Am I holding on to something fruitless? Should I just let it go? Will I regret it? But if I hold on to it, will I be disappointed? It seems that you're giving all the "NOs"... Should I say "Ah, I get it, I'll let you go"? But NO! I won't be satisfied just like that. The question is not "Will you be mine?" The real question is "Is my feelings really true or is it just out of loneliness?"

Seriously, I don't know guys... I just don't know.........

2006-09-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

You guys do know it when people talk about you right? As in, in your presence. You see them from afar and they were chit chatting. Once you get near them, they stop abruptly. How does that feel? For me, it's a very very loud "OUCH!!!" You feel so betrayed, like what's there that you cannot know. If they dare to speak about you in your presence, have you ever thought how much they discuss about you behind your back? That's another loud "OUCH!" If you've made a mistake, why don't they just tell you straight? Why do they have to discuss it, without you knowing? Why don't they ask you what the hell you were thinking when you're doing/saying that? WHY?!
I LOATHE YOU GUYS!!! I DO!! Please talk to me straight next time. That would be much appreciated. Period.

R.I.P Steve Irwin

2006-09-05T03:59:00.000-07:00

Rest In Peace to the world most loved crocodile hunter, Steve Irwin, who was killed by stingray's barb on the 4th September. He was only 44. His death is a great loss to the world. He was one brave man. He has cheated on death many times before and I guess that day was his day. To Steve Irwin: Thank you for your endless contribution to the world. Many tears shed and the world unite once again in feeling the loss of a great man. You are the inspiration of many animal lovers.

This sudden loss reminds me of how life is so unpredictable. God can take us away from this world as and when He likes it. We'll never know if we're going to die tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or whenever. Steve Irwin was only 44 and yet God feels that his time is up. He left behind 2 kids and a wife. Sometimes you may think, "Why God takes away good people in the world at such young age? Why is He so unfair?" I thought of these questions too, but I believe God has His reason. This taught me to live life to the fullest each and everyday, no matter how sad or screwed up your life is, there's nothing worse than death, than leaving this world with nothing accomplished. How easy is it for life to come and go? Irwin was filming a documentary and the next second *stab* he was dead. Do you realise how unpredictable was that? Never ever regret being born into this world. Never ever complain about all the bad things that life brings. It is already good enought that you are alive!

2006-08-31T07:02:00.000-07:00

Questions for you people, have you ever loved someone 100% and I really mean 100%? People who are in love right now will probably say yes. But, think again.. Search your heart real deep, I believe you can find someone that still mean something to you. It may be just memories but still, they mean something to you before. I can't forget about my ex that easily. I mean consciouly, I feel that I have forgotten about him. But I know deep down inside me, he still holds a special place in my heart. It doesn't have to be your ex, it can be a special friend. A friend that means more than a friend. You may be in a relationship right now, but there can be a person (of the opposite sex that is) that holds maybe 1% of your heart. It may not be a lot, but still, there is someone else in your heart. Will you feel guilty? Will you deny your own feelings? I will feel guilty for sure, but to erase that person completely from my heart, I don't know if I'll do that. I know some of you will say "it's unfair to your boyfriend and bla bla bla" But if you were in my position, I believe you will do the same thing. You just don't want to lose this special friend. You do love your partner very much, but you just don't want to erase this more-than-friend of yours from your life completely. It's a dilemma indeed... [Inspired by Pepi]

This makes me think... Have you actually given 100% of yourself before? Not just to your partner, but even to your friends? A question to ponder about.

I'm facing a dilemma right now, not the kind mentioned above. I don't know what should I do, I'm afraid if I make the wrong move I'll lose *... I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. It seems like it's not the right time but can I wait any longer? Can I conceal this feeling? Why can't you at least give me something positive, something for me to cling my hope on, something for me to be happy about. Currently all I get are negatives, all I get from you are things that crush my dream, sweep away my hope.. I can only do one thing right now, try my best and not get my hopes too high. I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose a friend because of my feeling.. I don't.......

Kebencian/Hatred

2006-08-29T03:21:00.000-07:00

KEBENCIAN
Jika kau pernah membenci seseorang,
pikirkan lagi... Siapa yang kau benci?

Pernahkah kau berpikir apa yg membuatmu benci
padanya...
Sikapnya? Atau kesalahannya padamu?

Bagaimana jika seandainya org yg kau benci itu
ternyata sangat menyayangimu?
Bagaimana jika ia sengaja ingin membuatmu
benci padanya?

Hanya karena ia merasa tidak pantas untukmu...
Ia melakukan semuanya untuk membahagiakanmu...

Tidakkah hatimu luluh saat mengetahuinya?
Hal-hal yang tidak pernah kau bayangkan sebelumnya...

Bayangkan, seandainya kau berada di posisinya...
Tidakkah kau merasa sedih...
Dibenci oleh org yang amat kau sayangi?

Karena itu... Jika kau sekarang membenci
seseorang,
Pikirkan sekali lagi... Pantaskah ia kau benci?

HATRED

If you ever hated someone, think again
Who is it that you hate?

Have you ever thought what makes you hate him/her?
Is it his attitude? Or something that he has done wrong to you?

What if the person that you hate actually
love you very much?
What if he/she purposely makes you hate him/her?

Just because that he/she is not worthy of your love...
He/she does it for your own happiness...

Won't your heart go soft if you know this?
All the things that you've never thought about before...

Imagine, what if you're in that position..
Won't you be sad?
Being hated by someone you love?

Thus, if you hate someone right
at this moment...
Think! Is he/she worth your hatred?

I feel that these are true. I've never really thought about all this. Now, I HATE to HATE. Whenever I start to feel dislike for a person, I would pray to God. Asking Him for some help, some tolerance, some patience. And it works! Does hating someone give yourself a sense of satisfaction? Does it give you happiness? Joy? Entertainment? NO NO AND NO! You lose a friend if you hate someone... So... WHY HATE???!!

Sympathy

2006-08-24T00:13:00.000-07:00

Hello my fellow readers (if there's any). Something just crossed my mind yesterday and because it was kind of late, I decided to pen it down today. So, let's get to the topic straight shall we?
Sympathya word that everybody is familiar of. Have you ever thought what is your purpose of writing in a blog? I guess most of you will say that you want to let out your feelings here and bla bla bla. But have you ever thought of yourself writing to be sympathised? Telling everyone about how screwed up your life is, how bad everything is going for you.. You might say "Look who's talking, or in this case, writing". I don't deny this. Consciously, I don't write for sympathy, I write to express how I feel but not to make others take pity on me. But subconsciously, I might be calling out for sympathy. I don't know, maybe deep down inside me, I want someone to say "Oh look at her, poor little thing". MAYBE... Just Maybe.....

2006-08-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

I just read a story from my literature book which kinda emphasises on the people being over-sensitive and stuffs. I kinda find that over-sensitiveness in people nowadays. I, myself, gets a lil` too sensitive. Maybe a lot.. I do get offended quite easily. Kinda ironic how I was telling everyone how insensitive I am in the previous post (editted due to personal reason). Oh wells, the world is changing. Change is the only constant thing in the world. How true...

Sorry for the misunderstanding caused. No hard feelings that is.. Sorry again..

*Don't you just hate misunderstandings? Screw up your life, screw up everything!! Hell to misunderstanding!*

2006-08-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

Let's get to the topic I'll be talking about today or rather, writing. Well, I realised that when people get together, they'll start telling each other everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. EVERY SINGLE TINY WINY THING regardless of its importance.

I have been feeling very shitty these past few weeks. Some days I'll feel better but today I feel the worse. Just can't believe what I found out.

LIFE SUCKS!! I DON'T SEE THE POINT OF LIFE ANYMORE! but I still want to live... Hoping things will get better, hoping everything change... Just keep hoping and wishing I guess..........

[ARGH! F*! I hate blogging!]

to grandma

2006-08-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

[Dedicated to my beloved grandma]
Hilary Duff- Someone's watching over me

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

2006-08-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

I know it has been donkey years since I last wrote. I don't know why, I just don't feel like writing anymore. Well, that's part of the reason. Another reason is the never-ending essays. It seems like essays after essays after essays. It's driving me nuts but still coping with it. Anyways, this entry will be kind of personal.. SO yeah.. Your choice whether you want to read it or not.

Ok, let's start. Recently, I seem to realise what kind of person I am. Well, not all my characteristics, but just one. One that I can tell you, I am not very proud of. After a certain incident, I start to realise that I'm the kind of person who will run away when problem comes, instead of facing it. Maybe sometimes I will face it, but that's only when I have the courage to do so or after some persuasion from family and friends. I hate to run away from problems. I know that by running away from them, nothing can be solved. But I always have this fear, fear of knowing the truth, fear of knowing that the truth will hurt me in some ways. To sum it up, I fear the truth. It is so hard to accept truth. But it's so easy for you to say "I want to know the truth". It happens to me a lot of times and I can tell you, 99.9%, I'm hurt by this truth. So, after much experience, I never want to find out about the truth anymore. I don't want to be hurt by this truth. So, anyways, as you can tell, I'm in a problem right now. I don't know how it turns out this way, I don't know what happened, I don't know what did I do wrong. I seem to have offended that person real bad that that person does not want to talk to me like ever again. I've tried to "introspeksi diri" [means something like "searching what's wrong with me"], I've tried to remember any time that I might have offended that person. I don't know.. I just don't... Yeah I know I'm lazy, I'm sorry, I promise I will change. Everything gets worse after the... I don't know what shits you've heard. In a way, I kind of prefer now. I don't really have to care about being ga enakan with that person cause we don't talk. Don't really have to care about practically anything. It's like I live my own life and you live yours. Part of me wants this problem to be solved, part of me wants us to be like we used to, laughing and all. But part of me also knows that it is somewhat impossible. And part of me does not want to know the TRUTH! Without knowing the truth, how to solve the problem?? Oh dear God, please give me the strength to get through this. Please give me the patience and somewhat the courage to face this.

That's about all I want to say. Moral of the story... TRUTH HURTS!

declaration

2006-07-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

DECLARATION!

I have a declaration to make. From today onwards, I'm going to be a geek. I am very disappointed and I don't want to feel the disappointment again. I will not go out on weekdays except on Tuesday for a movie *grins*. I will not go out on weekend except on Sunday after church. And everyone! I'M GOING TO BE THE GIRL WHO HAS NO LIFE!!! CHEERS!

This declaration is written by the one and only Meriana Kartini and it shall not be copyrighted at any cost. Heavy punishments will be given to those who copyright.

2006-07-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

The only way to love is not by loving someone perfect. But by loving someone imperfect, perfectly. Love doesn't always have a happy ending, it simply doesn't end.

It seems Mr Inspiration is at my door. I have a question, why do people read books? Yes, one of the reason is to gain knowledge but I believe to some, there is more than just education. For me personally, reading a book helps me to escape from reality. It brings me into a world where there are no worries, no cares. A world where everything seems to good to be true. I love the feeling of being in the utopia, I love to escape from all the stress, all the anger, hatred, every bad feelings. I just hate the reality... Currently... Haha!

2006-06-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

Yoohoo peeps! Seriously, I'm getting damn f*ing bored in Singapore. Firstly, everybody is either in school or having exam. Secondly, my mom won't give me the freaking money for shopping. How am I suppose to enjoy myself? You tell me... Every one else's mom comes to Singapore and shop with them. I know I know. I'm going back to Indo anyway.. But still, just give me the freaking money. I'm just rotting at home doing nothing waiting for someone to ask me out PATHETIC! Sigh... I hate holiday..

2006-06-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

"It is cruel, this world, to let us desire what we cannot have. It is hopeless that one should hope. Love is the greatest power and the greatest pain."

Don't you think those words are so true? How often do we desire something and that desire was never fulfilled? How often do we hope when we know that it is hopeless? And what is the cause of all these desires, these hopes? LOVE!

Anyways, exams are here. Suck! But on the bright side, holiday is coming. HOME HOME HOME!!!

Sometimes I just ponder about stuffs randomly. Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm thinking about. Sometimes, I'm so confused of this life, of my goal, of my purpose. Sometimes, it seems like the whole world has turned its back on me. Sometimes, I feel so loved, so wanted. Sometimes, I feel isolated, unwanted. I guess, that's life, LIFE IS RANDOM!

2006-06-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

Had, pjs/brithday party yesterday. Had lots of fun! Some people left earier.. so these are some of them only. I love the card! It's key-shaped! I love everything and everyone!!

I'm 18.. Now what?

B irthday

2006-05-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

UPDATED

This is what my sweet friends did! They woke up damn early to do this on the pavement outside College Square! Damn the rain! It was smudge before I could read it. Didn't see it when I went to school. Was too engrossed in something. I came home and saw it! I wanted to cry!! Chandra woke up at 5 AM!! Erisca woke up at 6.30. She don't usually wake up that early on a Monday morning mind you! I was soo happy!!

Thank you ci vince, ko beta and tio for the birthday cake!! Kirain beneran bakal di ceplokin telor. ternyata tidak.. huehhehehe.. maap kalo surprisenya jadi terganggu.. maap2.. terima kasih bangeet!! =D

Well, anyways! THANX ALL! AND I'M FINALLY 18!!!

So anyways.. that was in the morning and the night before.. I went to get a new phone today accompanied by Alice and Erisca. At first, I wanted to eat Nando's but Alice said she knows a nice jap restaurant juga downstairs. So I said, ok let's eat there. It turns out... WHat was downstairs was not the jap rest but a surprise party!!!! I was shocked, in a good way that is. THey're a sweet bunch of friends.. =)

2006-05-26T02:13:00.000-07:00

Ok. This is gonna sound disgusting. I'm typing with my sticky fingers cause I'm too lazy to wash hand. So random. Whatever. Anyway, let's get straight to the point of this entry. First, as usual, I'm going to throw a question at you, my readers (if there's any). Can a guy and a girl be best friend? Ok ok.. Don't just throw me with answers but reasons!!

I personally feel.. It all depends on the guy and the girl. You know.. With normal guys, it's kind of hard to be really good friend cause somehow.. the guy will end up liking you and stuffs like that. It kinda get awkward after he confesses his feelings. It's like you've been really good friends for so long and all of a sudden this happens. And somehow the friendship won't be the same anymore. There goes one good friendship. On the other hand, with not-so-normal (you guys know what I mean and no offence k.) I feel that we can be really good friends. For this.. I don't know the reason. I guess it's just human nature. How feeling grows after a long time of friendship. Sigh... life is so complicated. Human's nature seems to be the cause of every complication, every problem, just everything. It's kinda cruel yeah.... That's just life..

whatever

2006-05-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I get irritated easily these days. I get easily provoked. It seems like there's no use walking around with a sign around my neck saying "DO NOT PROVOKE! DANGEROUS!".

I have been fascinated with quite a few things lately. Like, how small the world is, how an apology work like wonders, how a person's feelings for another can change so fast. I don't know... little things fascinates me. Things that we take for granted. I don't know what else to write.

I'm damn pissed off with a particular someone. Whatever he says sounds like he's damn *. So.. I need time off. Don't come near me. Don't talk to me. 'Cause you'll just make me hate you more.

I HATE THE HUNGER PANGS I'M GETTING EVERY NIGHT. AND I'M DAMN PHAT *.

sigh...

2006-05-13T06:49:00.000-07:00

When your good friend tells you your weak point, will you really think about it or will you just brush it off? What do you feel when they tell you that? Do you find it irritating?
I will think about it and if I'm really like what they say, I'll change. But if I think he/she is just being too sensitive, I'll brush it off. When they tell me that, I'll feel like "Woah, you actually paid attention to me." On the other hand, I also feel, "Ugh! That hurts you know!" About whether it is irritating or not. I don't know. That depends on the situation. I hate mood spoiler by the way. I LOATHE them! It's like you're having so much fun and all of a sudden they come and tell you all the things that can just make you from mood 10 to -10. And you'll like just f* off will you? Aren't you tired of paying too much attention to people? Telling them everything that they don't know or even they don't need to know?? Have you ever thought of how the other person will feel after hearing all that? All I can say is that, mind your own business. Unless you're really the very best friend of that person.

BIG NOISE ROCKS!!!

2006-05-13T06:32:00.000-07:00

Our group name (2 drama classes join together)

The pro dancer, the band and a lot of students' "bands"

Had big noise yesterday. I bet you guys are wondering "Huh?? Big Noise?? What the hell is that??" To summarise it, it's BIG NOISE!! Haha. Ok, i'm not making sense. It is a time when all the february intake students come together and play all different kind of instruments. Obviously we have people to teach and direct us. These instruments originated from brazil and it's just fun! We can actually play music together. 400-500 people!! And yeah we have some dancings and stuffs. You can just imagine how loud the noise is. It's so loud that the patrol helicopter came. All I can say is that it's fun!

I MISS 4H!!

2006-05-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

I was just looking through some of the old photos and I realise... without myself knowing, I ACTUALLY MISS 4H'05 VERY MUCH!! I teared while looking through all the photos eg. painting class day, 120th anniversary and of course, grad night. sigh... I wish that we could go back to old times.. Yes, I have more freedom in the school here, yes it's fun, yes there's no rules but the class is not as bonded. We have many many many classes and it's just impossible for someone and another to have all the same classes.. Sigh..... I WANT 4H!! I WANT GESS!! ='( I miss all the times we spent together, studying in the class together, laughing at jokes, laughing at Mr Lim. I miss all those times... If only I could turn back time.. I miss trying to keep awake during lessons. Here, you can fall asleep and they won't even care.. I miss everything about 4H. 4H once, 4H forever..

First impression

2006-04-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

You know people say that first impression is the most important and bla bla bla. But come to think of it, I just have to disagree and of course I do have my own reason. I'm not saying that first impression is not important. It's just that it's not as important as what most people make it sound to be. Like, first impression will decide everything and stuffs like that. Well, it's important in the case of job interview but for making friends and other stuffs, I don't think is thaat important. If first impression is important, how about 2nd impression? When you just met this person, maybe you think that "Ew, why does he/she look so proud?" but after you get to know them, you start talking and hanging out with them, will you think back and say "Hm.. He/She is proud after all." And then you'll want to be friends with them. But, will you base your decision on the first impression? Like, "Oh, they're not that bad after all but because my first impression of him/her is that he/she is proud, I shall not hang out with them anymore." Honestly, will you actually think that way? Do you get the point I'm trying to get across? It's not first impression that matters most. If it is, then why is there a phrase that says "Don't judge a book by its cover." Isn't it contradicting the saying "First impression is important"? Isn't life funny? It's so full of contradiction, irony that sometimes you just can't figure out the right from the wrong. Life itself is a contradiction.

2006-04-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

Hi peeps! I just wanna say, EIGHT BELOW ROCKS!!! Fine, I cried for almost the whole movie but so what. I just feel such a connection with the dog. I know this sound stupid, but I really do. I could feel what the dogs were feeling. You know, like some of you felt some kind of connection with something and stuffs like that. That's exactly how I was feeling. Even when the movie wasn't showing the dogs, I can cry when whatever they're showing is not sad.. Sigh.. I miss my dogs.. I LOVE EIGHT BELOW!! I wanna watch it again... Why why why?? Maybe it's because I have had dogs since I was 1? But I kinda like the feeling of being connected to them. Sometimes I feel that I just know what they're thinking. PEOPLE!! YOU HAVE TO WATCH EIGHT BELOW!!!

2006-04-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEENTH ERISCA W!!! =D

Just an addition for the update.. The school here.. NO RULES!! Ok, not exactly no rules at all but there's not a single shitty rule like in Singapore eg. no eating sweet in class, bla bla bla.. here, in the class you can do anything you want!! Fine... Almost anything. It's free here.. But sometimes you kinda miss the teacher's scolding and nagging cause they don't do it here.

Anyways.. Today is ERISCA SWEET SEVENTEENTH!!!!! Aww... I bought her an engraved bracelet. Hope she likes it. So, I went home after 2 lessons today and cook my lunch which was, FYI, DELICIOUS!!! REALLY!! It was so good that I want another plate but there wasn't anymore left =( The thing is, I don't really know what ingredients to put so I practically add everything in the amount that I THINK is right. It turns out damn good lah! OK, after that.. I went to take a nap. Hahaha. I know PIIIGG! But I was so sleepy and Erisca is still having her class.. After getting an sms from her, I head to her house and all of us (Chandra, Lawrence, Alice, Erisca and me) went to the city to get stuffs for our dinner.. We went back and start the cooking!! The dishes turned out great and they love my fried rice!! Muahahah *sense of achievement* We sure had lots of fun!! Laugh like crazy.. and each of us perform our ?miming? (mimeing?) for the Drama test tomorrow. SHucks! Anyway, I'm kinda sick of updating my everyday life.. Going back to some philosophies or ideas.. Hahahaha. yeah right....
I'm trying to kiss Erisca while Lawrence is kissing the frog prince.. Wahahaha

The birthday girl with the birthday cake and 2 star candles (kasian deh ka bekas.. haha)

blublublub..

2006-04-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

Ok deh ka.. neh gw update.
Hey guys, welcome back to me. Hahaha. Anyways, I'm just going to update about my life here in Melbourne. A boring city with nothing to do during public holidays. How great is that?
Life's been just so-so. Nothing great bout this. Bought a few stuffs already and that burns a hole in my pocket. Sigh... Why things are so expensive??!! Even the food is expensive. Just have to get used to it. It's easter holiday now.. Been having holidays since last Friday. If it's like this in Singapore I'll say "WOOHOO!! IT'S SHOPPING TIME!" but in Melbourne, "BOOHOO.. NOTHING-TO-DO-SLACK-AT HOME DAY.." I kinda miss Singapore.. Miss Vivian Lai my best friend!! I MISS YOU BABY!! hope I'll get to see you in June. I miss everyone there... Especially my aunt.. I miss my mom and dad and brothers too. I'm having so much alone time that I feel lonely.. School's not as busy here. Not many homework yet I guess. But there's school everyday!! But not really full day.. Some days I went to school for only 1 and a half hour while some days.. from 8.45 to 5.15!! Things gonna change after we join the feb intake next week. Hope on some days I don't have to go to school. Haha. And there's something that I have to think about every single day that is.... WHAT TO EAT!! It's getting annoying.. It's like I have to think for myself what to eat every single day. Very very annoying.. Unlike last time, my aunt is the one who think for me. How I miss those times... Well, I'm learning to cook at least.. =) and the food I cook is edible ok!! I MISS ERICA KOSASIH!!!! You know what ka? Last night I dreamt of you and you're like coming here and living with me.. And when your mom left she was crying and you started to cry too... It's a strange dream. Ok then.. I'll update more next time.. All I can say for now is that Melbourne is BOOOORRRIINNGG!!

To: Erica

2006-03-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to Erica, my best friend after 7 years and still counting on.

Erica!!! Besok udah mao brgkt yah.. You must take care of yourself yah. I'm going to miss you lots. Cuma bisa ketemu end of year =( I'm going to say all the cliche stuffs. Haha. You have been a best friend and a sister I never had, a younger one that is. LoL! Kita dah sering curhat2an, loe dengerin bullshits gw and vice versa. Never got bored of each other. Hari ini, gw maen ke rumah loe and had lots of fun. Sedihnya kali inget loe dah mo ke M'sia.. Tapi kita akan bertemu lagi yah!! Walaupun kita punya temen bae baru sendiri2 gitu.. Tetep aja loe temen bae gw yg takkan terlupakan. I'm glad kita pisahnya dengan laughter yah. Lompat2an.. Mamer pantat.. Do obscene poses.. Ah.. ancur deh pokoknya. Huahahaha. Ya udah deh, all the best yah di sono.. Jangan lupakan daku...

Love, kisses, hugs,

Meriana

Would you rather be popular or invisible?

2006-03-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Well, I'll start off by asking you, my fellow readers, this question : Would you rather be Mr/Ms Popular or Mr/Ms Invisible (or as some people call it, "freak")?

I have my reasons for being either. First, if you're popular, everybody love you, everybody wants to be your friend, you're on top of the world, you seem to have everything that you want, etc, etc,etc.. Well, all the good stuffs come to you without you asking for it. Whereas if you're the "freak", you're isolated, nobody wants to know you, noone notices you, bang your shoulder and not apologise and again, etc, etc,etc.. All the bad stuffs... So I guess, everyone or maybe almost everyone will say you want to be Mr/Ms Popular.

Now let me explain the other point of view. So, let's say you're popular, you're smart and everything good. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE will have high expectations for you. You have to keep doing things that will allow you to keep the label "POPULAR" or "SMART". But are you really going to be happy doing all these things? Being up to the people's expectation but NOT YOURS? Imagine all the pressure put on you with all these expectations weighing down your shoulder. Do you really think POPULAR=HAPPY?
Say, if you're the invisible one, the different one, the freak, the girl/guy-who-always-spoils-the-fun, do you think people will expect many things from you? The answer is NO. They will expect nothing from you. As a result, you live a carefree life with no pressure, nothing weighing you down. Well, there's the bad side of course.. You become... how should I put it... ANTI-SOCIAL.
Alrighty.. there goes my piece of mind.. Now think deeply of which one would you rather be?

So enough of that... You know how I say I'm excited and can't wait to go to Melbourne?? Well, I'm here to confess.. Some part of me is, yes, excited.. but there's this part of me that's afraid of the new challenges lying ahead, the new life and all. Having to adapt again when I'm already comfortable where I am.. I just don't know which part is stronger.. the excitement, or the fear.. CHANGES, something that I can't run away from. I just have to learn to adapt and cope with all the changing stuffs.. Hope I can do it well.

Do you know why...

2006-02-24T07:02:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking, some parents don't want their child to grow up.Why is that? After much thought, I came up with a reason which, to me, sounds reasonable. You know how a child goes through many phases of growing up. One of which is the crawling and another, the walking. I guess some parents don't want their child to grow up because if they grow, they'll learn how to crawl and eventually learn how to walk. And they're afraid that after learning all that, they'll walk AWAY from them. They want a child to be forever a baby so that they can take care of him/her always and not having to worry that they'll mix with bad companies, walk out on their parents, doing some illegal stuffs, etc, etc,etc.. Get it? Oh nevermind, I'm just trying to express what I'm thinking. =) If I were a parent, I wouldn't want my child to grow up either. I don't want them to learn how to crawl and walk.. But, it's how life goes, a child will become a teenager and then adult. Parents can't tie them down forever that is unless the child marries the parents. It's hard to let go of your child, like letting them out of the cage and they'll make a new home and stuffs like that. But that's cycle of life, something that you can't prevent from happening. So the least a child can do to repay whatever the parents have done for him/her is, to always remember them eventhough you live at 2 different ends of the world. Call them, let them know you're thinking of them. That's enought to put a smile on their faces for a week!! It's never easy to let someone you love so much go and have their way. Try to understand them if they don't want you to move too far away.. Remember, you're always a child in their eyes.
Well, it's not like I'm a parent myself, it's just that, somehow... I know how they're feeling.. Believe it or not..

Rest In peace Popo Meme..

2006-02-15T04:47:00.000-08:00

You left me with no words
But memories that stays....
You entered my life
Since the day I was born.

But now you're gone like the wind
I am sad, I am down
But I know you're better off now.
I know you're no longer in pain
Now that you've gone...

You're gone...
A fact that I can't deny.
I miss you, I really do
I love you, I really do
But now you're gone...
Something I have to accept

I watch you breath your last
It pains me like a thousand daggers
Piercing through the heart
But it pains me more to see you suffer

I pray for the best
And if this is the best
I'll let you go
I sincerely do....

Now that you're gone...
Remember me, us always, your loved ones
Protect us from above
Now that you're gone...

Grandma, oh grandma,
You'll always be in my heart, my soul
Never will I forget you
Never will I forget the times
All of us had with you

Many memories that will stay with us
All the happy memories we had
Will always be remembered
And never forgotten

Tears shed, heart broken
Now that you've gone...

Popo, we'll always love you and you'll always be in our minds like we had always been in yours. You remember us, children, grandchildren, even when we're apart. You bought for us clothes, knowing what kind of clothing we like to wear. You always remember us wherever you are and now it's our turn. We might not be able to repay whatever you had done. All we can do is hope that you're doing good and resting in peace. Do come visit us in our dreams sometime, and let us know that you're fine. Love you always popo.

Ladyluck is really not here.. =(

2006-02-10T01:32:00.000-08:00

Shan't say too much. Let's just say, the outcome is disappointing. Getting over it right now. =) There are much more important things in life. Like a uni cert. Thanks Yixian for enlightening me. Haha. And congratulations to 2 of my best friends who did much better. Love ya'll always..

I realise something. In this life, there's no end to complaining. After you complaing about one thing, you realise there are bigger things that you can complain about. The complain about ezlink loss, is smaller to the complain of my result, and there are bigger complains than the result. So you see, the chain is endless. I can only say one thing, don't stop complaining. =)

ladyluck is not here....

2006-02-09T05:23:00.000-08:00

In Singapore now and no.. Inspiration haven't visited me yet.
Today is so not my day.. I just topped up my ez link and it's gone. I think I lost it in Long John but the people working there has nooo manners.. Mind you, LJ in Tiong Bahru.. They won't even ask or think or even let me finish my sentence and they already say "NONONO". I'm so sure I left it there. Or maybe the cleaning lady who is not that normal.. Throw it away (which I hope is the case) rather than someone picking it up and "dukun-in" me and my family.. There's a family photo FYI. T-T if I haven't top up I don't mind losing it. Oh well, enough of complaining. Just take it that the loss rid meof my badluck and I'll get as little points for my O level. =D

I just wonder why some people are so rude. Oh yes, Inspiration is here. Like, do they have any problem as in mentally that they just can't respect other people and not be rude. I'm sure in your life so far, you have met with numerous rude people. Some that you just can't stand. Do you ever wonder why those people act that way? I have. But never got the answer. Just have to accept that in this world.. many people are like that. I think they've got something wrong in their mind. Poor them... =)

where the heck are you??

2006-02-06T07:19:00.000-08:00

Okok. I know I'm supposed to update like ages ago. It's just that I have one problem. I DON'T HAVE ANY INSPIRATION!!! Nope, not a single one strikes me. It's just strange how when you're looking for an inspiration it won't come to you. However, when you're at the wrong place, wrong time, everything wrong, it comes. It's not strange but IRRITATING!!
So anyways.. I'VE GOT MY DRIVING LICENCE!!! But that doesn't mean i drive well. Still need lots of practice, still... I'm happy that I can drive! Oh well, I'll write when inspiration strikes me.. That is... God knows when.. OH oh! O level result is coming out on the 10th. Like... WHAHT?!

oh well...

2006-01-13T23:24:00.000-08:00

I really don't know what to put for the title. Haha.
So anyways, I was in my car on the way to Hyatt and it was raining super heavily with all the lightning and thunder that creeps me out. And at that moment, I was actually wondering whether the lightning would strike me and that I would die.. I know that doesn't sound good at all. But I just can't help wondering. Of course I brush that scary thought off my mind. Still, I was thinking, If I were to die at that moment, will I be satisfied with my life? You know how some people who had experienced a near death-experience said that, before you die, it seemed like your whole life flashes right before you. I was wondering, what will flash before me? What achievements in life do I have that'll make me feel satisfied? Than I realised, I have not done anything!! Ok.. I guess it's too early to say. Haha. I mean, me being 17 and having no achievements, I think it's the normal thing for a normal teen.
But really, what if I'm 40 and have nothing?? Damn! I would regret it. So I have decided to strive hard for what I've always dreamed of... A life with no difficulties in terms of financial and family and everything!!! Sorry.. this entry is crap..

Living Pinocchios..

2006-01-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

Honestly, how many of you never, and I mean NEVER lie before?

Sad to say, all of us have at least lied once and even more. Why do we do that? Well, the reason is simple: to get out of trouble. Some lie to please other people. Some lie to protect others which they call "The White Lie". No matter what kind of lie, they are STILL a lie. So, admit it! We are all living pinocchios!!! There is a liar in all of us just like there is a loser in us.

Remember the last time you called your friend a loser? Well, without you realising, you are calling yourself. There's a loser in all of us. It's just a matter of how much? I believe celebrities have once been a loser. All those famous people, have once been a loser. It's just that, some people chose to remain as one while others, well, they grow out of it and they become the non-loser? But even though you are the most popular girl or guy in school, I believe there are times you act like a loser. I'm not saying that it's ok to be one and I'm not saying that it's not ok to be one either. People are different, and you can never change that. Some people like to be unnoticed whom people label "loser" while others, want to be the centre of the attention, they want to be noticed, want to be known. So they grow out of their "loser life". Think hard, there must be one time you act like one. Admit it.. It's sad, I know...

Demystifying the C-word

2006-01-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Why men are so afraid of the C-word? and that word is COMMITMENT.
The word in any context other than the one having to do with what a woman wants from the man she loves is rife with negative connotations. "He was committed to an insane asylum." Or the onerous, "He committed a crime." You get the picture?
Definition: to commit
- to put officially in custody or confinement
-to hand over or set apart to be disposed of
- to commit something to the trash heap
Definition: commitment
-official consignment by court order of a person to prison, mental hospital,erc.
- a financial liability undertaken
AND FINALLY
- a pledge or promise to do something
Soo, you get the idea?

Well, to me, commitment means something else. It means that I can simply look to the face beside me and rest assured that whatever follows will not have to be endured alone. It means that someone will laugh at my jokes, or at least smile.
I want the person who kissed me good morning to be the same person who kisses me good night.
I believe most men want these things, but the C-word terrifies them... Does it?

=D

2006-01-02T22:42:00.000-08:00

First off, I want to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas =p and Happy New Year!! I've been looking forward to a new year, a new beginning to a whole new life. And, a whole new ME!!
So, nyways, I was in Hong Kong for the christmas, t'was great!! Well, kinda like orchard road but is the whole Hong Kong, with all the lightings, and people wearing that santa hat, the spirit is soo there. Didn't stay out late cause it was crowded. Hong Kong was great. The winter is so nice... No hotness. LoL! ShenZhen is a shopping paradise. Haha. Shopped a lot and lots and lots of stuffs. The living place was better than HK too. Haha. And the tickets for the train is like this plastic green coin that you use like EZ-Link. COoool.

New year... planned to go to Tony Romas but decided not to cause the road is damn jam. Went to Pantai Mutiara to eat the seafood and proceeded to my apartment hoping to see fireworks. Watched red shoes with my brothers and his gf. Gives me heart attack. Watched half way and it was midnight. LOTS OF FIREWORKS!!! Can see damn clearly cause just right below (the tennis court) people set of the fireworkds. It was fabolous! Took some pictures or I should say lots!! The fireworks unlike Sg. They set it off in many different places and from my apartment, I can see many!! Faraway or near. So beautiful..... SIgh.. a good start to a new year. Went home after watching finish the movie. My bro's gf stayed overnight. Talked for about an hour. It feels great.. Like having a sister of my own...
Went to Tony Romas the next day for lunch. Delicious meal I shall say. Went back home and watch erm.. Gromit and Wallace i think that's how you spell it. Funny movie.. Okie then.. ciao~

2005-12-21T14:01:00.000-08:00

Jangan pernah bilang "I love you" kalau kamu tidak peduli
Jangan pernah membicarakan perasaan yang tidak pernah ada
Jangan pernah menyentuh hidup seseorang kalau hal itu akan menghancurkan hatinya.
Jangan pernah menatap matanya kalau semua yang kamulakukan hanya kebohongan
Hal paling kejam yang seseorang lakukan kepada orang lain adalah membiarkannya jatuh cinta, sementara kamu tidak berniat untuk menangkapnya...

Cinta bukan bagaimana menjadi pasangan yang "sempurna" bagi seseorang
Tapi bagaimana menemukan seseorangyang dapat membantumu menjadi dirimu sendiri
Dan karena itu kamu sempurna.

Translation:
Never say "I Love You" if you don't mean it
Never talk about the feeling that never exist
Never touch a person's life if it's gonna break her heart
Never look into her eyes if all you do is lie
The meanest thing a person can do to another is letting her fall in love but never plan to catch her....

Love is not about becoming "perfect" for him/her
But it's about finding someone that can help you to be yourself
And that is why you are perfect...

Leaving...

2005-12-21T13:31:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving tomorrow!! Kinda excited. Can't wait for all the shopping and meeting up with my babe!! Vivian!!!!!!!! She's gonna take me around HK. LoL! Ok then. Ciao peeps~

Another Why?

2005-12-20T01:04:00.000-08:00

It's past midnight, so it's another day.

Why didn't I notice you then?
Why didn't you catch my attention?
You were so perfect, you were so charming.
Why now and not then?
Why didn't God give me the chance?
Why didn't God create an "US"?
Why now, not then?

You took away oxygen with you when you left, cause it's so hard for me to breath.

Hm...

2005-12-19T06:38:00.000-08:00

What's this feeling you get when you like a person?? Oh! Like!! Or Love??!! Another question. What's the difference between like and love? Some people tell me both are the same, while some says they are different. But the thing is, they can't tell me the difference. "They're just different." Whaaahhh?? You're not helping... So, anyways, why do we go all googoogaagaa when we have this feeling. Like, when we see the person, we'll be happy. See, another happiness. (EeewWW!!! I just squashed a mosquito until the blood spurts out. OK that's out of the point) Back to topic, why do they say, we're blinded by love. When we like/love a person, we don't care about their weakness. All we see is their strong points, their "coolness" when they're walking, talking, eating or even standing!! Is it really true? Blinded by love... Hm.. Something I should start to observe. Why does it hurt when we see the person we like/love with another girl? Why does it hurt when we're rejected, when we mean "nothing more than a friend"? OUCH! Again they say, love hurts, always??? I don't think so. Love hurts when you're on your journey to find your other half, your soulmate, the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with. After that, does love still hurt? I think so, when quarrels happen, fight broke out. So is true that love ALWAYS hurt. How I wish that it doesn't hurt. It's just that, based on experience, when you're hurt by love, you're traumatised by it. You feel like you'll never want to love again, you'll never ever want to be close with another guy so as to prevent feelings to develop. But can you help it at all, when feeling grows inside you without your knowledge for a guy? A guy that is so mysterious that you thought you'll never have the chance to know him?? A guy that is so quiet?? I don't know, I really don't. I'm afraid to love but people tell me that love is beautiful. Haven't they experience the pain it causes? Haven't they realise the evil side of love? I want to love, I want to experience the wonder of it, the tenderness it brings, the warmth. But, will I dare to love again? I don't know. I'm waiting for someone to bring me out of this fear, to make me believe that "YES! Love hurts. But the wonder it brings is much better." Someone that I can trust and someone that says "I'm never going to let tears fall from your eyes, well, unless they are tears of joy =)" And that is what I wish for Christmas. I hope Santa hears my wish. Do you Mr Santa? I'm going to use the largest, loudest microphone to wish to you. I want to be taken out of this "fear of love" circle. I want to love like everybody does. I want to love without fearing of being hurt. And even if I am hurt, make me see the beauty of it and make me forget the pain!

MAKE ME BELIVE IN LOVE! ONCE AGAIN!!

Why?

2005-12-19T05:57:00.000-08:00

Saw a total different side. Charms me even more. Sigh..... We're gonna be at two different ends of the world. Might not meet ever again and I hope it won't grow. Why do you have to go? Or should I ask, why do I have to go?? I don't know. Just love the different side. Were so mysterious which caught my attention. Makes people to wanna get a peek of your life. So, anyways, life goes on, nothing I can do about. 'Till fate brings us back. All the best! =D

Today was kinda the last outing for the indos ='( Mike's leaving for US tomorrow and Adhi for Singapore. And soon to leave, bagong and vince.t. Don't know when we'll meet again but when we do, I hope our friendships still stays the same yah!! Take care in US guys, turn into a hunkand chickmagnet yeah?! *winks* and bring back cowo bule for me!! Muahahahaha! Love y'all! *HUGGIESS!!!*

Time sure flies...

2005-12-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

Geez, 3 weeks into December. Time really flies. Some people gonna start their JC soon while I'll be stuck here in indo until God knows when. Well, at least I have something to look forward to. Going off to Hong Kong on 22nd. Sooo, I'm gonna be MIA for a week. Will be on a shopping spree!! WhEEeee!!! =D In a blink of an eye, and I'll be starting school in Melbourne. A whole new life, A whole new chapter, A whole new environment. Kinda looking forward to it, but on the other hand, not really. Don't know why. I really have no idea what else to write. You know how irritating it is when you can't remember what you want to write. When you weren't doing anything and not having your laptop in front of you and all the thoughts just flood your mind and all of a sudden, when you're in front of your laptop, everything disappears, your mind goes blank! Whooosh! Irritating..

[Santa, I have been good this year. Give me a surprise of a lifetime, give me the man of my dream. =)]

2005-12-15T08:55:00.000-08:00

Was lying on my bed last night, lots of things going through my mind like the niagara waterfall. The thoughts just keep coming and coming until I had to forcefully put a stop to it! Haha. Oh well, I was just thinking... What is like, what is love, what is a crush? What do they actually mean?? Is it some kind of obsession? Is it some kind of longing? Is it a need?
They seem to come in different forms: missing someone, trying to get a peek of their life, trying to BE in their circle of life. What is it about liking a person? What do you mean when you like a person? Do you like his/her appearance, characteristic or just that little bit of detail, say... maybe his/her eyebrow?? Sigh... so many questions, so little answer.

What's this feeling?? Whenever I'm near you I want time to stop! Right at that moment. Oh well, why think about something that's impossible. I know this won't happen as in you won't notice me. But, that's life. It's ugly and unfair. The cruelty of life. Whyyyy!!!!

All I want for Christmas is you..

Dufan!!

2005-12-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

Whee!! Went to Dufan today with some of the indo people! Adhi, Devina, Felix(dev's bro) and me reached there much earlier than the host who is vincent!!! We reached there at around 1 and they reached at 3. WHAT!!??! Went to play roller coaster (halilintar-is that how you spell it?) first. It was fun and I got myself a headache! How wonderful. It was fun, the 180 degrees turn and all. After that, went to the Istabon (Istana Boneka) or the doll palace. They have this creepy dolls of different countries. Yes, they were creepy. It was a looonnnngg and booorriinng ride. But good to calm my heart down after that roller coaster. Michael T came and we played kora kora, the swinging ship. Was feeling ticklish and shouting my heart out. They(Vincent T, Jessy, Andy) finally came. We played alot of games, the stimulator, the roller coaster (again) and the niagara-gara which didn't get me wet!! Well, the final and most fun of all!!! The arung jeram!!! WOOHOOO!! First time play, not that wet but Andy and Dev was kinda soaked. Decided that my seat was not good. Went to change seat and played for the second time. ANd guess what!? God answers our prayers. We got damn wet!! Yes, all of us!! No matter where we're seating. It was sooooooooo fun! Can't play anymore cause the place is closed! YES!! DUFAN CLOSED AT 6!! SO EARLY!!! Got changed (only me and Mike brought things to change) while the rest was soaked to the skin. 8 orang yg pergi, yg punya supir only one. So you imagine we have to squeeze in one car all the way to Bakmie GM. Everyone was starving. Well, that's bout it, went home after that. Well, that's bout all for today!

Oh oh, my teeth, don't hurt that much anymore =D. Lost 2.5 kg but now gaining T-T.

Braces.. uggh!

2005-12-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

Just had my braces on and my teeth is so ngilu now. If you know what I mean. Kinda numb and like your teeth is being pushed forcefully. Won't be able to chew anything for a few days. Pathetic right!!?? Porridge everyday. Sigh... the price to pay for beauty. I won't do it for the second time. Luckily only the top row of my teeth. If not, I can die crying. LoL.
The orthodontist said that everything is perfect, the allignment of the lips, nose and chin, the jaw is in perfect place, all the teeth in perfect position, the wisdom tooth growing the correct way. It's just that one naughty tooth. If I had known earlier, don't wanna put. The thing is, he told me after I decide to put. No turning back. Gonna lose a lot of weight! Haha. Good thing though. =D

Harry Potter!!

2005-12-02T07:31:00.000-08:00

I know it's kinda late, super late, but I just started reading Harry Potter and they are great. At the third book now. Can't put it down. Geez! Why didn't I read it earlier. Oh well, better late than never. =D

So, nyways, the trip to orthodontist yesterday was ok. Still deciding whether to put or not because I have to tighten it often and will be going Melbourne next year. He actually wanted to refer me to the dentist there but he said they might not want cause mine is a small problem. They might ask me to re-do everything. After some thought, decide to go ahead. Coming back here every three months during the term break. As long as I can maintain it. *cross fingers* They took the shape of my teeth using this gum-look-a-like thingy. The metal was shoving up it's way to my gum and it was hurting. Luckily it didn't take long. And they asked me to bite on a candle! Tasted horrible. Will be putting on the braces on Monday, went back today for X-ray. I hope it doesn't hurt. No turning back now. Spent quite a lot just for all the the thingy so far. And going to spend more on Monday. Within one year and the braces will be off =D . Fast eh! Because mine's not so bad. Within 3 months it will be straighten already, just need to maintain it. Ok, enough bout orthodontist.

Missing my friends already. Don't know when I'll see them again. Mom was complaining, saying that I don't need to take my result on the same day as the others. But that's what I want!! I want to meet all my classmates on that day. She was saying that I should go later and then go straight to Melbourne. That's what I want to, but I want to take the results same day as the others!!! Sigh....

Sigh....

2005-11-30T03:45:00.000-08:00

Been super busy the past few days with all the packing and all the chalet. It was great fun. 4H IS fantastic and will forever be!! I'm going to miss 4H. All the fun we had during lessons. Making Mr Lim angry, making almost every teacher angry. Haha. Sigh... But in this life, there always have to be parting. It is just the beginning to a new life. Friends, 4H will always remain in my heart. Those 2 years we spent together was the greatest years of my school life so far. I wouldn't mind repeating it all over again, oh well, without the exams of course. LoL! I don't know when I'll be seeing all of you again but I can assure you, that chalet is not the last gathering that we, 4H"ians" gonna have!! =D Everyone, all the best for the future and till we meet again...

Chalet
Chalet started on 28 November. We reached in the afternoon around 3 and then we had bbq at 5.30 which was great. Haha. The boys were cooking and me, eating =p. The food was delicious, I think partly because I was starving. Some rent the bike overnight and went cycling. Some went to get alcoholic drinks. I chose a bacardi, orange flavour. We went to drink at around 10.30 I think. By then, Mervin had already gulped down a can of beer and he was a lil tipsy. But, he still go with the long island which contains 10% alcohol. And as you guessed it, he flipped. I mean, he was red all over and was high. When I had finished half the bottle of bacardi, I was hot all over too and my head was pounding and I wasn't feeling too good. Gave the rest to Vivian. I guess can't hold alcohol. Sigh.... I swear I wouldn't drink so much anymore. The headache was killing me. All of us went back to our rooms and Mervin slept. Well, we couldn't sleep as what usually happen in chalet. I managed to sleep for a few hours though. Second day, nothing much, ate breakfast went cycling and then I had to go home already.

Went for manicure, pedicure and nail art. It turns out nice. Reached home at about 10.30 PM and it was raining. Got my only pair of jeans wet. Packed everything already, that's why left only one jeans. So anyway, while I'm typing this, I'm already in Indo!! Don't know what to do but I know I want to do a lot of things. Going to Orthodontist to get my braces fix tomorrow. Kinda excited and also scared. Afraid it might not turn out nice. Oh well, I hope it does *cross fingers* ok then, shall end here, my stomach is calling for food.

graduation/prom night

2005-11-26T06:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was prom night. Nad, Maio and me were late, very late. Haha. We went to Hollywood Secrets to get my hair done and their make-up. We reached there late and the make-up took quite long. We finally reached at around 7.45 when the thing actually starts at 6.30. Haha. Everyone looked faboulous. They are all princes and princesses thet nigh. It was fun, taking photos, chatting, playing games. The emcee was, well, hillarious sometimes. It was great! Well, almots perfect. My stupid table nominate me for the crowning of Princess of GESS. Obviously I was eliminated in the first round because my clothing was nothing close to the theme- Fantasy. In the end, Fangyi and Kok Yong won the title, bringing home plagues. It was sooo cool!! I want that too.. Oh well, no potential. Haha. Woke up this morning with a very bad headache. No appetite to eat. Indo gang asked me to go to escape with them. Planned to go with Jessy's sister later but it turned out her sis went with them. So, didn't get to go. Oh well, it's ok. Just that this maybe our last gathering like this as a gang. Sigh.... Wouldn't it be great if there's only one single country in this world?? No separation...
Anyway, leaving Singapore on 30th.. Don't know whether it's a good thing or not. Part of me is happy but another part is sad. Happy because I get to be back in my own country, sad because I'm leaving friends behind. Don't know when I'll see them again. Well, all I can do is enjoy the chalet to the fullest.

food for thought..

2005-11-24T23:48:00.000-08:00

I've always wondered:"are there any kids out there who hate their parents?" My question is answered. It happens that I know someone who does. If I were her parents, I would have killed myself, seriously. Having a kid like that, it's no different than having a satan in the house. She actually wants her parents to suffer. Can you imagine, your mom going through that painful 9 months, your dad giving you all the love he can. I guess it's partly because she's the only child and probably her parents spoilt her. Supporting her like since the day she was born. If it weren't for them, she wouldn't have lived till this day. But, this is what they get from her. Anak durhaka I shall say. But I believe in retribution, karma. What goes round comes around. She'll just get her desert. Her kids may treat her the same way. Oh well, there's nothing more I can say. What parents want is the best for their kids. And yes sometimes we do rebel but deep down inside we know that they love us. We are their everything. How would you feel if you are a parent yourself and your kids treat you with no respect. Your heart will shatter. I just can't believe she could bring herself to do that. I guess all she wants is just attention. Acting rebelious, trying to be a bad girl so that she won't be left out? I don't know. Can't say. Seeking attention by doing things that hurt her parents. Tsk... something I despise a lot. I'm not saying that I never hurt my parents before well at least even if I did, it's not as bad as her. Yes, when I was young I was self-centered, selfish. I have to get what I want and if I don't, I'll get angry. But as I grow up, I realise that they don't always give in to me so as not to spoil me, so as not to make me become a more selfish person. They want the best for me. And I understand that as I grew up. I felt the love in my heart more than before. I love them with all my heart. They are my everything. I can never repay them for everything they had done for me. Not even a whole lifetime. But the least I could do is love them, respect them and not hurt them. Make them feel proud of me. I would never do things to hurt them, well at least I tried. But sometimes you don't mean to hurt them. But this friend of mine, she deliberately do things to defy them, to rebel, to seek attention, to hurt them. Heaven has eyes. I just hope someday she'll realise how important parents are. They are only persons who knows us best, love us the most. Not our boyfriend. Not anyone else in the world. They, create us, keep us alive. What more could you ask for from them? They have done everything they could. So please my dear friend, search your heart, do some self-reflection. Scolding your mom "b*tch", doesn't that make you one too? Like what they said "It takes one to know one." and since she's your mom, you have the same DNA. So that makes you a b*tch too. You've got enough attention, now, be a good girl. Bleah! Despise you with all my life, my guts, my heart. You deserve not a single respect girl.. oops, I forgot. I mean b*tch..

BBQ was great!!

2005-11-23T07:26:00.000-08:00

Org2 indo.. tengkiu banget yah udah dateng hari ini. I hope you have fun walaupun makannanya ga banyak. Collin and Herman.. G-stringnya musti di pake yah.. huehehhe. kadonya pada decent2 smua sih.. cuma gw ama jessy punya yg ga decent. oh ada lg mugnya si vivi. haha. winston musti pake juga tuh. wakakka. yah.. this maybe our last gathering kaya begini.. taon depan dah pencar smua.. ='( I know some of you for a long time while others not so long. But no matter how long we know each other, all of you have left footprints on my heart that nothing and no one can ever erase. You'll forever live inside me. Love y'all! *muach*

[I'm going to miss all of you!! Thank you for the great friendship!!! =D]

Whatever....

2005-11-22T01:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry..
I'm sorry for doing this to you
I'm sorry for making you feel this way
I'm sorry for hurting you the way I did
I'm sorry for not being able to love you back the same way
I'm sorry for not being perfect
I'm sorry that you have to love me
I'm sorry I can't make you feel the way you want me to
I'm sorry........

One day...
All this while,
All this time,
I've been loving you.
I always believe that
One day, maybe one day,
My love will touch your heart.

More than once I've thought of giving up,
But, no matter how hard I try
I can't bring myslef to forget you.
All the while i believe,
that one day,
You'll realise my love for you is true...
One day, I hope one day, you will...

bored...

2005-11-22T00:49:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be asleep now.. Oh well, just don't feel like sleeping yet. But i'm sleepy.. ok fine.. I'm talking crap. I'm so bored, have nothing to do now. I shopped too much and spend too much money T-T. Must control myself. NONONO!! So many things to buy so little money. Sigh... a problem many people have. Why can't money just drop from the sky or something. Haha. Prom night is in 4 days. Or by this time- 3. Don't really know whether I should get another dress or just wear the one that I already had. Haven't get any accesories yet. Ugh!! Money money money. Makes the world goes round. I know it's kinda late, but I'm watching Harry Potter tomorrow!! Or today cause it's past midnight. Lame.. I know. this is what bored people do. Anyways.. shall end here. Force myslef to sleep. Ciao~

2005-11-21T00:46:00.001-08:00

Enya- Amarantine
You know when you gave your love away
It opened your heart, everything is new
And you know time will always find a way
To let your heart believe it’s true

You know love is everything you say
A whisper, a word, promises you give
You feel it in the heartbeat of the day
You know this is the way love is

Amarantine
Amarantine
Amarantine
Love is always love

You know love will sometimes make you cry
So let the tears go they will flow away
For you know love will always let you fly
How far a heart can fly away

Amarantine
Amarantine
Amarantine
Love is always love

You know when love’s shining in your eyes
It may be the stars falling from above
And you know love is with you when you rise
For night and day belong to love

hello i'm back!

2005-11-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

Well, i'm back with a brand new skin, a brand new post, and a brand new me! Geez.. Another year has gone. Time sure waits for no man. O level is over, and i'm going to start a new life in Australia next year!! Kinda excited and also sad. Going to miss all my friends here. And especially orang2 indo. We're going to be separated!! Tapi pasti nanti bakal ketemu lagi yah! =D It has been 6 great years here in Singapore. Well, not that I love the country or what. But all my friends made it possible for me to enjoy my days here. Boring school days, boring weekends, homeworks, studies and the list goes on. I would have rotted and died here if it weren't for them. I'm sooo going to miss all of you!! All my soulmates, my best friends, my babes..... Sigh.. Wonder how it'll be like over there in Melbourne.. But I know I'm going to love the seasons there. 4 SEASONS!!! Something that Singapore doesn't have. I want to write all the dedications.. but it will be too boring and long. Cause there're so many people I want to thank. Well, anyways.. just want to thank all of you for turning my dull, black and white life into rainbow! Love you all! =)

[Distance will not tear us apart, cause our friendships are still standing strong]

¯¨´*·~-.¸¸,.-~*´¨Waiting for my fairytale¯¨´*·~-.¸